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"Huh! Want h'it ter make a difference ter me, bucky. Gang ter help me find een, hain't yer?"
He said, "I will do everything in my power, Pig. You have my solemn promise."
The doorway was much too small for them to leave arm in arm, though both would have liked to. As it was he hung back, letting Pig kneel to crawl through before him. For an instant then it almost seemed to him that the bare floor and mildewing walls had been swept aside and he saw again the luxury and splendor that had been: the rich, figured carpet, the pictured women of pink and gold, and the huge bed of scented wood with its black and crimson sheets. Wine and chocolate perfumed the air, and glowing lights clearer than the one he held swarmed over the ceiling, their refulgence held in check by the discretion of the murmuring couple in the bed.
Then Pig's boots were through the doorway, leaving behind them only silence, ruin, and himself. Sighing, he too went out, pursued by the mockery of Hyacinth's soundless laughter.
9. BEFORE MY TRIAL
It would be impossible for me to write down everything that has occurred since I last wrote. When I was back on the Whorl, and Silk spoke to me through my friend Pig, I was eager to hear all that had befallen him since we had gone to Mainframe. He never complied, although I was permitted a few glimpses; and now I understand why he did not. There are things that would be so long in the telling that the Whorl might go before any account was well begun. This is like that, but I will do what I can.
Before I start, I should say that we are very comfortably situated now in the house that was Judge Hamer's. At present it belongs to me, having been given to me by the town. Before we leave I hope to sell it; Nettle and I will need money, Hide and Vadsig want to build a house as well as a boat, and it is likely Hoof will marry before long. I have noticed that when one twin does something the other is not far behind.
Speaking of Vadsig, I should say that before my trial I questioned her at length, having observed at the hearing that she was possessed. I supposed-hoped, I should say-that Jahlee was her possessor. In that I was disappointed.
"Who are you? I know you're not really Vadsig. If you want to make us think you are, you must learn to talk as she does."
She gave me the defiant glance I had seen earlier when she had described her quarrel with "Cook." "We came to help. You should thank us."
"I certainly need help. Thank you very much."
"That's better." She smiled.
"You speak of yourselves as we. How many of you are there?"
She giggled. "What does it matter?"
Hide said, "So I can tell when you're all gone. I want Vadsig back."
"She's still here." Her voice changed tone. "We'll have to go soon. Onorifica will come in and wake me up." A return to the previous tone. (I will not continue to mark these changes; they were too frequent.) "That's the good thing about this. I can eat."
To entertain them I said, "You're not Mucor in that case. I thought you might be; but Mucor would be alone, I believe."
Vadsig giggled again.
Hide said, "We don't think it's funny, do we Father? Who's Onorifica? Was that the girl who thought you could make your stick talk?"
"He can!" More giggling from Vadsig.
"She was a servant at General Inclito's," I told Hide, "so Vadsig's possessors are Inclito's daughter Mora-you remember her, I'm sure-and her friend Fava."
"You said Fava was dead. You said we sat on her grave that one time, and-"
Vadsig interrupted. "Well, I like that!"
I told her, "I hope you'll remember, Fava, that without me your body would have gone unburied, and would, I believe, have been devoured by wild animals that very night. I buried you alone, digging stony ground in the bitter cold. Would you have done as much for me?"
Vadsig was silent.
Hide said, "I still don't understand about Fava. Isn't she really dead?"
"Death isn't a hard and fast line like the edge of a table. It is a process, and it can be a long time before the dead person is entirely gone-indeed, it may not end in total dissolution at all. Fava and Mora were close, so it's not surprising that Fava figures in Mora's dreams. The surprising thing is that both figure in yours."
He gawked, and I laid a hand upon his shoulder. "The three whorls are stranger places than you can imagine, my son. As you mature you will come upon less and less of that strangeness if you stay close to home, honor no god much, and busy yourself with prosaic affairs. Then you can scoff at such things."
Vadsig said, "Cruel to him you are, mysire."
"No, Vadsig. I'm causing him pain. Only children believe that there is no difference between cruelty and education."
Hide asked, "Are they gone now?" and she giggled.
"No, my son, they are not. Vadsig loves you so much that when she sensed that what I'd said had left you confused and unhappy she broke through to protest. Suppose you were on a mare, and the mare heard her foal cry out. You might be able to get her back under control, but you'd have to do it. For a moment you would have lost control, as Mora and Fava did then."
"I want them gone, Father!" Hide's fists clenched.
I said, "I would ask who it is you think that you're about to strike, but it would be useless, I'm sure. You may strike me, if you like, but I'll restrain you-if I can-should you attempt to strike Vadsig. It will not drive out her possessors, and she's done nothing to deserve it."
"I won't hit you."
"Thank you. As for making Mora and Fava leave, I suppose we might be able to if we tried, but there's little point in trying. They'll go when Onorifica wakes Mora for breakfast, as Mora told us. Meanwhile we must confer with them, and with Vadsig as well.
"Will you please let Vadsig speak? It is late already, we have a lot to talk over, and if Fava wants to eat and Vadsig allows it, I'll have to arrange for food-"
"Fish heads?"
I looked up in surprise, and found Oreb in his accustomed place on the chimney corner.
"Bird back!"
Vadsig said, "Speaking to you I am, mysire. What wanting you are?"
"First, your consent to the possession, Vadsig. Is it all right for Mora and Fava to remain with you till sunrise? It will help you and Hide in the long run, I'm sure."
She did not reply.
"Bird find." Oreb announced. "Find hus."
"That's right, I sent you after Babbie. Thank you. I haven't time to ask where he is, but I will later. Meanwhile, please don't forget."
"Hus good!"
"If helps it does, all right it is. Friends we are."
"Fine. Thank you, Vadsig. You're not only helping Hide and yourself, you're helping me, too. Now I must ask one more thing of you. Fava-I believe it's Fava-would like you to eat. I may be mistaken, but I think she'll make you eat voraciously. Is that all right? Have you objection to a big meal?"
"No, mysire."
"You'll have to talk more than that, I'm afraid. I can't be certain after hearing only two words."
"Sorry I am, mysire. Stupid I feel."
Hide said, "That was her. They couldn't fool me."
"Speaking I am, kandij. Late it is and hungry we are. If eating too much I am, stop me you can. But I won't make her hurt herself or drink blood like I used to, Incanto. I won't let Fava make her sick."
"Good. Thank you, all three. I'm hungry myself-"
Oreb croaked, "Bird eat?" from the chimney corner.
"Yes, Oreb. Certainly."
I turned back to Vadsig, wondering whose facial expression I was studying. "No doubt Hide's hungry too, and we might as well eat while we talk. Hide, would you go down and arrange for food with Aanvagen, if she hasn't gone to bed?"
"Right away, Father." Hide blew Vadsig a kiss.
"What do you want to talk about, Incanto?"
"Overthrowing the judges who rule Dorp."
Oreb whistled sharply.
"It seems to be the only course open to me. Nat is well connected and vindictive, and if I'm tried I'll certainly be found guilty and punished sever
ely. I may be executed, and I'll certainly be flogged. Hide, Jahlee, and I will be deprived of our property. When they discover much of it missing-I've taken it out and sold it-Beroep and Aanvagen will be ruined, as Strik has been."
"A good man he is, mysire," Vadsig assured me. "This Master often says. This Parel also says. A hard trader Strik is, but as he says his goods are. Do you think we can really do it, Incanto? We overthrew the Duko, and I like to think Eco and I had something to do with that, but we had the Horde of Blanko, and they had a lot more to do with it than we did."
I told them, "Let me say first that if we succeed we should be able to restore Captain Strik's property. He helped me when I was just set ting out, and I certainly intend to try; in fact I'll try to restore all the property that's been unjustly confiscated. The judges have been using their positions to enrich themselves; we will deprive them of both riches and position-if we can.
"Second, these judges recall the Ayuntamiento, the council we overthrew in Viron. By `we' I mean not only Maytera Mint and Patera Silk, and Seawrack and I, but several hundred others who formed the nucleus of our rebellion. There were five councilors, too-Lemur, Loris, Potto, Galago, and Tarsier-and they controlled the Army and the Guard, immense advantages that the judges here lack. The Horde of Dorp is largely made up of reservists."
Vadsig looked doubtful. "These names not knowing, I am, mysire. This knowing I am. Legermen there are, and slug guns they have."
"We have weapons, too, Vadsig. The difficulty is to find men and women who'll use them with determined courage."
"She'll fight if she's fighting for Hide and a house of her own, Incanto. Mora and I will too, but then it won't be so dangerous for us."
"Boy come!" Oreb announced; and in a few seconds we heard Hide's feet on the stairs.
"The lady hereā¦ Aanvagen? Is that her name?"
We nodded.
"She and her husband and that fellow Strik have gone to Strik's to get some things so he can make himself comfortable, but I told the cook what we wanted, and she said she'd do it if I'd carry it up. She'll yell when it's ready."
"Down to help her I will go," Vadsig offered.
I shook my head. "We have a great deal to discuss. I mentioned the rebellion in Viron, in which I took part; I was one of General Mint's runners, was shot in the chest, and so on and so forth-none of which I need go into. The point is that it succeeded, though it faced opposition far more serious than the rebellion we will foment here in Dorp. It was sparked by a theophany, Echidna's appearing in the Sacred Window of my manteion. I doubt that any of you have seen a Sacred Widow."
Hide and Vadsig shook their heads. Oreb piped tentatively, "Bird see?"
"That's right, you were with me in the Grand Manteion, so you did indeed. You'll have to excuse me though, Oreb, while I explain to the young people."
Vadsig said, "I've heard about them." (It was probably Mora who spoke.) "Can you climb through them, like a real window?" That was certainly Fava.
"An interesting point. In a sense, the gods can. They can leave the Sacred Window in the form of unnoticed flashes of light to possess us, very much as you and Mora are possessing Vadsig. You don't do it like that, do you?"
"I don't know, Incanto. I don't think so. Into me they have walked, mysire, as one into this house might walk. Me they did not ask, but friends become we have."
"What I was going to say is that to anyone who hadn't been brought up to reverence the gods-and even in Viron many people had not-a god in a Sacred Window was nothing more than a large picture that spoke. Even so, that single theophany set off a rebellion that many had longed for but no one had prepared for. I believe something of the same sort might have the same effect here, with a little preparation."
Hide asked, "Do you, Father? Are you sure?" The simple words fail to convey his expression and voice; it was one of the few times I have felt absolutely certain that he loves me.
"No," I told him, "but I'm going to bet my life on it. I have no choice."
All of this took place before Hide went to Strik's house in hope of reclaiming his old bed and was beaten by Strik and his wife, and before Hoof joined us and Jahlee rejoined us in the dram shop. Now I would like to pray for a few minutes, and after that I must get to court. This High Judge business is becoming very reminiscent of Gaon, save that I have no wives here and want none.
* * *
Rereading, I see that I promised to describe my search for Jahlee. This would be a good time to do it; but first I should say that I was puzzled for some time after I arrived. I could not imagine how I had gotten to Green from Judge Hamer's sellaria when trips of the kind had previously required the presence of an inhuma. My initial feeling was that what I had experienced was impossible, and thus that I was not really on Green at all but was experiencing a dream or hallucination. This lasted for what seemed an hour or two, although it cannot really have been long.
Subsequently, I realized that there were at least three explanations. The first and certainly the most attractive is that Fava was possessing Vadsig. The difficulty is that the "Fava" possessing Vadsig may be nothing more than Mora's dream of Fava; if that is so, the web of difficulties becomes worse than ever.
The second (which I am loath to adopt though I think it the most plausible of the three) is that an inhumu was present but unknown to me. I write "an inhumu," despite the fact that my previous partners in bilocation have been female; it is possible that a male might serve as well. If this explanation is the true one, it would be interesting-and useful, perhaps-to know who it was. Hide, Vadsig, Aanvagen, Beroep, and Azijin can be dismissed; I have been too close to all of them far too often to be thus deceived. In my judgment Cijfer can be dismissed as well. That leaves Judge Hamer himself (surely the most interesting possibility), various troopers, and others, any of whom could be an inhuma or an inhumu.
The third is that I was assisted by the Neighbors, from whom the inhumi must originally have gained this power. I have been seeing and speaking to them, although this is not the proper time to write about it. It seems possible that Seawrack's ring not only identifies me as a friend, but actually attracts them-although we are all attracted to friends, with a ring or without one. (I may be making too much of this.)
Whether or not the ring has such a power, the Neighbors may have found me before they made themselves known to me, which was not until after Hide and I questioned Vadsig-indeed, after Hoof and I met Wapen in the dram shop. They were willing to help us, and indeed their testimony was of great value to us during my trial, as I shall describe in a moment or two.
I am loath to mention it, but there remains a fourth-
Oreb has returned. I heard him tapping at the window just now. In he flew and gave me his usual jaunty greeting, although he was cold and hungry. Blackbirds fatten best in cold weather, according to the saying, but it doesn't seem to apply to Oreb; in any event, I doubt that he is strong enough to get much food from a frozen corpse.
I had sent him with a message for Nettle, something I ought to have done long before. She must be worried about Hoof and Hide, as well as me, and very worried indeed about Sinew. In a small hand, on half a sheet of this paper, I explained that he is living happily on Green where we have two grandsons, and is calde of a thriving village. I also assured her that the twins are safe with me, and told her that we have an adopted daughter and that Krait, whom I also adopted, is dead. (This last was unwise perhaps; besides, if Jahlee was Krait's mother, he was properly a grandson-but one may adopt a grandson, surely.)
I see I have confused the rings. The one I am wearing is not the one Seawrack gave me, although it resembles it closely. This is Oreb's ring. It seems the stone changes color when it is worn; it was originally much darker, surely. I should go back and line out my mistake, I suppose, but I hate lining things out-it gives the page such an ugly appearance. Besides, to line out is to accept responsibility for the correctness of all that is let stand. To correct that or any other error would be to invite you to ask me (w
hen you read this, as I hope you soon will) why I failed to correct some other. And I cannot correct all or even most of them without tearing the whole account to shreds and starting again. My new account, moreover, would be bound to be worse than this, since I could not prevent myself from attributing to myself knowledge and opinions I did not have at the time the events I recorded occurred. No, there really are such things as honest mistakes; this account is full of them, and I intend to leave it that way.
* * *
Having been clubbed during a session of Judge Hamer's court, I found myself again in the abandoned tower in the cliff face in which I had left Jahlee. I was overjoyed at first, thinking it would be easy to find her and return her to her sleeping body.
I searched the tower, discovering many strange devices and a locked door that appeared to lead into the cliff itself, no doubt opening upon some cleft in the rock. Jahlee was nowhere to be found, however, and at last I was forced to admit that during the time she had been alone she had left the tower, abandoning hope of rescue and flying out the circular port-I described it a good deal earlier-and down to the fog-shrouded swamps in which she was born.
I have been talking with Oreb, who has recovered himself somewhat after his exhausting trip. (Yesterday he seemed very tired and weak, and tucked his head under his wing as soon as he had been fed.) I questioned him closely about my letter.
"Bird take."
"I'm well aware that you took it, Oreb. But did you take it to Nettle? Did you deliver it as I asked?"
"Yes, yes! Take girl. Girl cry."
"I see." I rose and paced the room for some while, pausing at one window or another-there are seven in all-to peer between the leading and the bull's-eye at the center of each diamond-shaped pane of bluish glass. This house is admirably situated atop a small hill and commands a fine view of Dorp; but I could not have told you what I had seen five seconds after I saw it. If the Sun Street Quarter as it was before the fire had been re-created there, I doubt that I would have noticed.